..its been hard. Difficult. A real struggle. But isn’t that always the story? I’m trying to figure things out. What am I supposed to be doing with my life? I have no idea. Nothing feels right. Everything is unappealing. All I want to do is sleep.
I’ve been sleeping all day and staying up all night. That’s usually what happens when I get super anxious & depressed-y. Mentally, I am doing better than I was initially, but I am still feeling pretty bad. I applied for medicare/obamacare (whatever you want to call it), so hopefully I can finally do something about my mental health. I am ready to take that step. It is hard to imagine a life where I actually feel happy and anxiety free. Its really hard to imagine anything, honestly.
I’m slowly waking up. I do a little bit more each day. I’ve been writing more in my paper journal more often, which seems to help. I feel like I need to find a project or something to lose myself to. I am happier when my mind is occupied, but remember when I said everything is unappealing?? Yea, so starting a project is going to be hard when I feel like this. There are tons of things I would like to do, but the motivation to do them is non-existent. I am sure I will find something.
I need a nap.
I totally forgot to do a recap for September, so going to do that now along with October’s recap.
– Got a new camera.
– Went to North Myrtle Beach with my family for Labor Day.
– Went to Asheville for Star’s wedding.
– Visited the sunflower fields.
– Ate at Victoria Gastro Pub for the first time.
– Visited the Enchanted Forest.
– Went to the Rawlings Conservatory. Twice.
– Went on a hike in Catoctin Mountain Park.
– Received the new Animal Crossing game for my 3DS.
– Ate lots of Pho.
– Got a standing mirror for the living room.
– Went to DC and visited Dumbarton Oaks & the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens.
– Ate one of the best cupcakes at Baked & Wired.
– Cool Halloween Decorations in DC.
– Two new awesome dresses from Old Navy.
– Finally ordered tights from We Love Colors.
– Made a new friend.
– Played Monster Mini Golf. Twice.
– Gave Oscar a long overdue haircut.
– Got a Turntable and a cool stand to put it on.
– Went to see Modest Mouse in Norfolk, VA.