8 Aug

There’s nothing better than writing in a brand new notebook. I don’t know what it is, but its almost the same feeling as laying in a bed with clean sheets.

I decided to start a new notebook to keep up with daily tasks & important dates. I guess a planner without having to buy an actual planner. I mean, I would like a nice Filofax, but that’s not happening right now.

I’m kind of on the fence about starting school, I’m definitely going to go, but I don’t really have much desire. However, when I start thinking about using shiny, new school supplies I get excited. I probably mentioned that before, but I really enjoy paper goods and pens & pencils.

Next week I go and buy my books and my sister comes for a visit. I’m looking forward to both of those things.

Music Monday – Hot Chip

4 Aug

Really digging this song right now. Embarrassed that I actually like a Hot Chip song. I don’t know what that says about me as a person, though. However, it makes me want to chair dance. It induces the wiggles!

Dreams – Ziggy

3 Aug

Last night I had a dream about Ziggy. I was searching all over for him and calling everyone that I knew trying to track his whereabouts. Everyone I called or talked to kept telling me that they thought so and so had him and it was always a different person they mentioned.

I was getting so frustrated, but then I was in a campground of some sort and I found Ziggy. He was just wandering about and I picked him up but I wasn’t sure if it were him. His name on his tag was different, but he still had the blue tag with the paw print stamped on it, so I knew it was him. His tag showed that his name was now Grumbley.

I went out of the camper I was in and his owner was out there kinda yelling about, but was in a hurry because they had to leave for whatever reason. Kinda like they were up to illegal shenanigans and were on the run. I didn’t really care, but I was dead set on keep Ziggy there with me no matter what.

I’m not really sure what happened, it just kinda ended like that. But I was so happy in my dream that I was crying.

Now all day I’ve been just plain out sad, missing my dog. I think about Ziggy all the time and feel like its my fault he isn’t with our family anymore. At least he is still alive and with another family that probably loves him just as much.


278 - Dog Park

Hello! Nebula!

2 Aug



I was inspired by Erica to make a nebula and then it ended turning into something more. I shared this on Instagram, but I thought I would share it on my blog, as well. I used acrylic paints and glued on tiny silver stars. Its not perfect, but I really like it. I like it so much that I may even frame it and hang it up somewhere.

I feel kind of motivated to paint something else, but I am not really sure what at this point. I’ll figure it out and possibly share my creations here.

Happy Saturday! :)

Happy August.

1 Aug

Holy cow! Its August!

Things I am looking forward to this month:

Getting two new dresses in the mail from Modcloth.

Starting school.

Possibly going down to South Carolina for a few days (that one is not set in stone yet but I want it to work out).

Watching more Doctor Who.


Short term goals for the month:

Fix my sleep schedule before I start school so its not so rough.

Ride at least 10 miles on my bike.


Halfway photo recap

31 Jul

21 - The snow I've been waiting for

52 - The Greatest City in America

66 - Bromo Seltzer Tower


105 - Our Weekly Chick-fil-a trip


128 - My parents being ridiculous

172 - And then there were birds!


New hair!

30 Jul

As always, I had a little photoshoot with myself after getting my hair done. I don’t know what it is, but I getting my hair done always makes me feel like a million bucks. I just wish I could either do it myself (Ok, I know how to do it myself by now, but I am kinda lazy) or had an unlimited supply of money so I could go to the salon more often than I do. I fortunately got enough birthday money and I immediately booked myself an appointment.



I like how Oscar decided he wanted to be in the picture, too.


This is my very sparse living room, but I finally got around to hanging my stuff back up on the walls. I made Oscar sit there because he kept running around under my feet which I find annoying. Some annoying dude came knocking on the door during my photoshoot. He was just rambling on how he wanted to cut our grass. He really didn’t make any sense.

I decided not to wear a dress for my photos because mainly I am tired of the ones I have. I haven’t found any good ones this year other than some online and I don’t have 80 dollars to drop on a dress. It makes me super anxious to think about the things I want and the lack of money I have. $_$

Photo an hour

29 Jul

On my birthday last Tuesday I decided to a “Photo an Hour”. I was pretty successful in remember to take a photo. Did anything exciting happen? No, not really, but I wanted to document the day anyhow.



Waking up.

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Favorite breakfast. Spicy Chicken biscuit.

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Waxing my eyebrows.




Washing my hair.

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Took Oscar for a walk.

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Afternoon pick me up – chocolate milk & coffee.




Frosted my cake. Needs more sprinkles, I think.

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Opened birthday cards I got in the mail.




Put on make up while watching ‘My Little Ponies’. Don’t judge me.

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Ready to go.

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At our dinner reservation at Woodberry Kitchen.

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My dinner. Porkchop, dandelion greens. Heirloom tomatoes & eggplant. NOM.

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Waiting for the valet to bring the car around.

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Took Oscar with us to 7-11. Needed ice cream for the cake I didn’t eat until the next day.

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DONE for the day.

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Turning 30

22 Jul

189 - Copper tinted sky

Today I turn thirty years old. I know age is nothing but a number and it doesn’t really matter, but it truly makes me feel terrible. Mainly because here I am with nothing to show for the past thirty years of my life. I have crippling anxiety, no college degree, no friends, no job, no money, and a relationship that makes me completely miserable. It has been a real struggle.

Mainly, I am just feeling sad because I don’t have any friends to help me celebrate a milestone of a birthday. If I had it my way, I’d have lots of friends over for a barbeque, cake, & booze. Instead, it will just be me and the boyfriend that I love to hate having an awkward dinner out together. Sitting in silence while we eat.  Perhaps we will go somewhere nice.

Anxiety makes it really hard for me to make friends. I know how and have had opportunities presented to me, but I just have mental breakdowns at any sort of idea of being social. Such a lonely life I lead.

However, I am trying to change all of these things. Starting with going back to school in the Autumn. That is the first step.

Go to school. Get a real job. Save up to move back to Oregon.

Moving back to the west coast is pretty much my long term goal and what I have to look forward to eventually. I’ve never really had any long term goals in my life, but hopefully I can make this happen within the next five years.

Maybe over time, with going to school I can get over my anxiety and make real life friends. I can only hope.  I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling lonely & isolated because its pretty darn miserable.

I want to make a life for myself. I want to be happy.

Halfway mark

18 Jul

July marks halfway through the year, and I can’t really say I’ve accomplished very much. I’ve kept up with my 365 project, at least.

I’ve watched one movie this year so far and that would be Guilt Trip. It wasn’t even a good movie. I watched a couple of documentaries one on Bronies and the other on mail order brides.


New to me TV shows I’ve watched this year so far:

Sons of Anarchy
My Mad Fat Diary
Princess Jellyfish
House of Cards
Warehouse 13
Black Butler
Doctor Who


Games I’ve played:

Zelda: Link Between Worlds

Animal Crossing, New Leaf

Tomodachi Life

Takenoko (Board game)



This year hasn’t been very kind to me in the musical sense, but I’m still working on putting my yearly playlist together. Since discovering Spotify this year, it has made me quite lazy in the music pursuit.



Haven’t wandered far from Maryland this year. Went to both DC and South Carolina once. If you want to count my cross-country drive in January, then that happened, too. I’ve frequented On the Border, the Owl Bar, Robert E Lee park, & Double Rock park.


That is my uneventful life in a nutshell.