October.

2 Oct

How?

Time just goes by and I’m just wasting away. I’m feeling completely hopeless and alone. At least its finally cooling down, yea? I can sleep with the window open (and probably catch a cold) and sleep comfortably. Snug as a bug. That’s something.

I’m struggling with my daily photo project. I’m running out of things to take photos of since I never leave the house. I left Saturday to go to the city to eat poke, but I’ve been there four times in the last five weeks. Maybe I’ll go to to a museum or something this coming weekend.

It doesn’t help that sleep is completely impossible right now. I’m slowly making my way to a reverse schedule (sleeping days; awake during nights). I hate it. If I can stay awake a little while longer today, I will go to the grocery store. I need stuff.

There are so many kinds of things I want to post, but I let the fear of what others are thinking stop me from posting whatever I want or simply just being me on the internet. Even though there’s probably only one or two people reading this. I kinda just want to delete all of this again. 🙁

/end ramble

Highs & Lows

21 Sep

When I made the initial blog post a few days ago I was at a high and I’ve slowly declined into a low. Now I have the sads and anxieties. I just don’t want to do anything. I’m making myself write this. I’m not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me and I definitely don’t want to “talk about it” with anyone. I just need to write.

I wish there were more good days, but my I’m floating along in a sea of bad days. I’ve really been trying to turn things around for myself, but life just gets so heavy.

Its Me.

18 Sep

Untitled

Do people even read blogs anymore? I still do, but only sometimes, if I am being honest. Does reading LiveJournals count? So, I don’t know why I’m expecting people to come read mine. I guess I’m not expecting anyone to read this, but really I don’t care who shows up here to read my ramblings. I’m doing this for me. For the past month, I’ve been writing in a paper journal every night before bed, but now that isn’t enough. I need to write more. And by write more, I’ve got the urge to update here. I’m going to be sharing anything and everything I feel like without getting too personal. I just gotta stop worrying about what other people are thinking and just do whatever it is that I want to do, ya know?

Yay. Blog times.

These past couple of years have been rather difficult and then over the past year I’ve been really into playing World of Warcraft. Honestly, I think playing WoW and being social in-game has really helped me come back around. I’m still anxious as hell and depressed most of the time, but I’m feeling a heck of a lot better than I was two years ago. This is a start.

I don’t know how often I will update here, but I’m going to try and post a lot more often than I have in the past. Nobody hold their breath, though.