Panduh!

Today’s photo prompt is, How I’m feeling today. I decided to write about it along with my photo. Despite wearing an awesome t-shirt, I just feel not that great.

I’m so content with my yo-yo of a relationship that I am utterly sad because I know that my relationship isn’t going any further than what it is. I feel like a tire stuck in the mud. I wish I could hate my boyfriend so I don’t have to endure such emotional heartache on a day to day basis. I don’t know why I love him because he is completely opposite of what I want in a guy, to be honest. I guess its true, opposites attract. I wish it weren’t. I am grateful all James does for me, but in the end, he can’t give me what I really want. I know titles and tradition shouldn’t matter, but they do to me.

I watched a documentary on the people who dress up as super heroes and stand on Hollywood Blvd taking photos with tourist for money. It was quite inspiring. Mind you, I don’t want to dress up as a super hero and panhandle, that isn’t me. However, I just want to pack up a few of my belongings and head out west to California. I don’t have much going on here and feel like I don’t have much to lose. I am too much of a pansy to just up and leave with no money or a place to stay. I don’t think I could handle being homeless.

I should just appreciate what I have and stop complaining, but its really hard when I’m truly not happy with life.

Blah.

I want to go on a vacation somewhere with a beach, but yea, that isn’t going to happen. It could, but I would end up going alone and what good is that? I spend enough time alone as it is. James and I are going to NYC in June and staying in Manhattan for two nights. I’m not really excited about it, but at least we are going somewhere together, which is a first.

I’m just sad, but isn’t that always the case for me? Yea, pretty much.

I obtained the most awesome nail color (Mermaid’s Dream) ever and painted my nails. Wheeee. They look so pretty and I smile everytime I look down at my fingers or see a flash of color when I’m doing something with my hands. Hooray for girly times!

I felt so silly taking that photo because I see people doing that all the time on pintrest. I almost did it to be funny, I think.

I’ve been eating like crap for the past couple of weeks and its really starting to catch up to me. Blargh. I’ve had intense stomach aches and really bad headaches over the past couple of days. Pretty awful. Lesson learned.. for now.

Also, out of the blue, I’ve gotten the urge to paint my nails. I haven’t done this since I was in middle school. I don’t know why, but I am quite embarrassed that I am all of a sudden wanting to paint my fangernails. To make things worse, I bought a dress this past week. I can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve worn a dress in my lifetime. WHY am I getting these girly urges??!

I finally broke down and just made an appointment at a salon to get my hair dyed a crazy color since I don’t have anyone around here to help me just do it myself. I tried to get James to help me out and it was complete fail. So, right now, my hair is pretty awful looking, color-wise.

Woe is me.

Its a wonder what a little bit of social interaction does for my moods. It makes me feel a lot better & happier. I just wish I found it easy to talk to people all the time.

Anyway, I had a good day with a friend in the city getting a 13 dollar tattoo (Friday the 13th). It was really spontaneous and spur of the moment which just adds onto the awesomeness.

Ice cream cone. Yay.

This is a horrible graph representation of my moods.

I start at indifferent, shoot up to angry as hell, and then crash down to depression city. Rinse and repeat. I’m getting real tired of feeling like this. And honestly, I just wish someone would come put me out of my misery.

Vegan cupcake from Babycakes in NYC. Loveeeeee their cupcakes so much. I always stop by their bakery first thing when I get into the city. Its like a tradition!

What is going to NYC without getting pizza?! I stopped at Motorino’s and got their lunch special and a glass of wine.

It was a rainy day, but luckily for me I brought my umbrella. Yay for not being wet! It didn’t really rain that long, which is good. I think the majority of the time it rained, I was on the subway somewhere.

I visited a Japanese bookstore and Sanrio in Times Square which resulted in spending way too much monies, but how often do I get the chance to visit my favorite city in the world?! That’s what I thought.

All in all, it was a good time and a great stress reliever. It was definitely a mood booster. Just what I needed.

Supposedly it is National Puppy Day, so I will share mine with everyone.

Ziggy hasn’t learned that is good to pose for the camera. Oscar knows, though. As soon as I get my camera or phone out to take a picture, Oscar immediately assumes picture taking position. He gets quite jealous of me photographing Ziggy these days and always wants in the picture. So, it took a bit of work to keep him out of this one (Putting him in my lap! .

Happy Puppy day and have a good weekend, all! [=

Ok forever I have wanted to plant a garden. That’s not going to happen until we move elsewhere. So, I am going to try my hand at growing a pot of flowers from seeds. I haven’t ever really been successful at growing or maintaining plants in the past, so I’m going to try extra hard this time.

I planted Shasta Daises. Not my favorite flower  (which is a coneflower btw), but this will do for now.

I planted my seeds in this neato pot thing that I found at the thrift store a few weeks back. I picked it up knowing it would be a good planter for some flowers. I love the little stars cut out on the sides.

Then I put my cute little gnomes next to my planter to keep a watch over my seedlings. They are so cute. I just want to pinch their little ceramic cheeks.

I’ve got my fingers crossed!

Yesterday morning James had to go to the hospital to get a procedure done and of all days, it was his birthday that it was scheduled. Luckily, it was an out-patient procedure and he called me about two hours later telling me to come back and pick him up from the hospital. It was such a foggy morning; fog so thick I could barely see. The fog made for a nerve wracking drive in and out of the city, but we made it out alive!

We (as in all four of us) spent the rest of the day in bed (doctor’s orders!), just relaxing. I went and got us snowballs later in the day and then Thai food for dinner. I hope James had a good birthday despite being physically violated by a doctor earlier in the day.

I-85 Northbound

I am back home in Baltimore. I left to go back home Wednesday morning around 6am and got here in Baltimore around two in the afternoon. It was a quick drive and didn’t seem to drag on like it normally does. I was so eager to get home, especially after what happened when I was at my parents’ house.

It honestly seemed like it took forever for Friday to arrive, but it is here. I am ready for the weekend, especially since its St. Patty’s day. I plan on being perpetually drunk for most of the day tomorrow. Not very exciting, but I have a lot of beer in the fridge that I need to make disappear. If I knew some people, I could throw a party, however I do not. Forever alone. James and I are going to one of my favorite restaurants in the city tomorrow night, so that is always good.

I can’t wait to cook next week because when I was back home in South Carolina, I ate like crap and it most certainly made me feel terrible. I look forward to my flatbread pizzas on Monday and whatever else I decide to cook for the rest of the week.

My NYC day trip is on the 28th and I’m very excited to go, even if I did have trouble figuring out what I wanted to do. I’ve seen pretty much everything touristy already.. It took some time, but I’ve got it all planned. I just need to straighten out the details.

Yay. I am happy today. I hope everyone else has a happy friday and enjoys the rest of the weekend. [=