Panduh!

Its Halloween, but I don’t really care. I celebrated by going to the gym. It was the first time I went in probably about three weeks, but not really sure. It felt pretty good to exercise, and I wish I could have this type of motivation every day. C’est la vie.

Anyway, I have been busy dealing with a crappy depression, and I also went home for a few days last week. The drives both way sucked hardcore and were super boring. The time in South Carolina was alright, I guess. I’m back in Baltimore, though, and things aren’t quite sorted out, yet. At least the hole in the wall is now fixed up, just needs to be painted again. Sigh.

Things are going to be changing soon, but I’m not quite sure how, what, why. Its going to happen, though. I have hard time dealing with change. I absolutely despise it, even though I know it is for the better.

I have been playing a lot of Words with Friends lately. Pandaramic84 is my username. [=

Here is my pick for Music Monday -

Grouplove – Coulors

This week was just plain out awful just like the rest of them. I really had high hopes that this week would be great, but it wasn’t. I did not make any progress in trying to conquer my anxiety or depression. I regressed, if anything. I am going to try and not dwell about it and focus on the good things that did happen over the weekend.

On Friday, I was supposed to get my new iPhone, but the place I was supposed to get it from didn’t get nearly enough phones on Friday and I was going to have to wait until next week to get one. I was pretty bummed out, not going to lie. I was going through twitter withdrawls! So, I thought for sure the rest of my weekend was going to be pretty lame because I was going to have to go even longer without a good phone (#firstworldproblems).

Saturday comes by and James asks me if I want to go to Weber’s Cider Mill Farm. Its where they have pumpkins, apples, and all kinds of other farm stuff, I guess. Mostly, it is for kids, but I was interested in getting cider and other edible goodies. So, we drove out there and fought for parking, but we eventually made it to the place. I ended up getting some honey crisp apples (My Fave!), a butternut squash, and some apple cider. Maybe something else, but I don’t remember. I had a good time, but since I am sick, I started to feel bad, so we had to leave after only being there a short while.

Later on, I started feeling better and I wanted to go to the mall to pick up something from Sephora and to browse other stores, etc.  Well, I happened to stumble upon an AT&T store, so I had James go in and ask if they had any white iPhones left. To my surprise, they did, and so I went ahead and got it. Yay, I will be happy about that for awhile until the new & shiny wears off. But hooray for new phone that works properly (so far!)! Just waiting on the case for it, its gonna have a panda bear on it.

Hope anyone that reads this had a good weekend, too. [=

This past Sunday I went to the first annual Vegtoberfest here in Baltimore. I was pretty excited about it, not gonna lie, mainly for all the yummy food I would get to stuff into my face (especially sweets!).

See that right there? Vegan Pumpkin Cheesecake from Vegan Treats. I died. It was absolutely delicious and in my opinion 100% better than the real deal. I wish I would’ve gotten like 30 million things from Vegan Treats because it was just mind blowing. I haven’t eaten real sweets/cake in a few months, so I was pretty excited.

Later, I got a salad from this one place that was amazing. And then I picked up some vegan white chocolate chips to bake with and a Oatmeal Cream Pie from Goody Goody Gumdrops.

I regret not sampling any of the chili from the cook-off. Oh well, there’s always next time.

We only stayed for about an hour before I was ready to go and protect my chocolate chips from the sun. They melted a little before I got them home, but that’s ok. I’m sure they’re still good.

Good day, good day. Even after running all of our typical Sunday errands later that day, which includes going to the grocery store. Worst part of the week. ever.

I forgot to do Music Monday. I didn’t really forget, I was just too busy/lazy doing other things. Next week!

This week has not been any better than the last, which really blows, but that’s Ok. James has been really sick and I’ve been in a not-so-good place mentally. So you put those two things together and its like an explosion of terrible. Rawr.

However, I did end up having James call and make me an appointment with a psychiatrist for next Thursday. I am a little worried about it and having second thoughts on going, but I know I really should. I am more worried about the cost of it more than anything since I am sans insurance. It will be for the best and something that should’ve happened a long, long time ago. I just want to feel better and to function somewhat normally. So, here’s to that and it going well.

I still have been keeping up with my daily photograph project deal, but I haven’t really been inspired and have just been taking pictures of any random thing. I just have no motivation, whatsoever, but I am making myself do it. I’m sure my creativity will come around at some point.

For some reason, I got the urge to look at my very first livejournal that I created back in 2002. The entries in that thing were pretty ridiculous and I can’t believe that I openly wrote about the things I did. And why did I hyphenate words with an asterisk? /facepalm Its kinda embarrassing. Though, even back then I always talked about how depressed I was. I guess I have been dealing with that for quite some time, sadly.

This week has not been good. The roof of my mouth has been super sore because I ate Trix like three days in a row and it cut my mouth open or something crazy like that. Then, I found this weird growth thing on Oscar’s leg and we had to go and get it removed. I’ve been super depressed and haven’t really felt like doing anything other than sitting around. I did manage to cook a few times this week, fortunately. Also, haven’t been getting along with James the past couple of days either. It sucks. Oh, and let me not forget my sleeping habits are kinda off schedule, too. Its almost 3:30 in the morning and I’m still awake. Go figure. If anything is going to go wrong, its going to be now.

I hope next week will be a million times better.

On a lighter note, I stumbled upon a Domo in a Panda suit. Totally made my day and was definitely the highlight of my week. Also, on Friday, I met some cool people at a random bonfire/weirdpartything. It was neat, but I still found it to be socially awkward.

Rawr.